Wednesday, March 24, 2010

A Census Form for "Real" America

The U.S. Bureau of Fun Facts estimates it will take the average person either 10 minutes or 10 days to fill out this survey. If your layabout stepson Randy has moved back into the house, yes, you have to count him. Use a pen. With ink in it.

1) How many nights a week does your family watch “American Idol,” “Survivor” or that Donald Trump show?

2) How many members of your family believe President Obama was born in another country? How many members of your family believe Hawaii is another country?

3) How many times a week do members of your family go to the Wal Mart? __

For household items? __
For clothes? __
For food? __
For a social life? __

4) How many members of your family actually work at Wal Mart?

5) Would you describe your family members as close knit?
Chronically obese? Heavily armed?

6) Is there someone in your household – not a blood relative - who is just really getting on your last nerve? Identify.

7) Who is cuter? Miley Cyrus or Taylor Swift? C’mon. No waiting.

8) Should Tiger’s wife like totally bail on him for running around with those floozies or should she just hang in there and take the money or what?

9) How many members of your family think Jimmie Johnson wins too many NASCAR races? Has Dale Earnhardt Jr. been pretty much of a disappointment to you and your entire family?

10) Coke Zero or Pepsi Free? Taco Bell or Sonic? Bud Light or Miller Light? Jack Daniels or 'Turkey? Ford pickup or Chevy pickup? Domino’s or Papa John’s?

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